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Oh my god, your name is actually Hoffenpurpenburger!-Yes
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That's so cool, to be a real Hoffenpurpenburger on Hoffenpurpenburger Day!-I'm a Hoffenpurpenburger every day.
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But it's just so cool!-It's just my name; haven't you got a name too?
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Not Hoffenpurpenburger!-But you have your parents' name - isn't that cool?
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My father's aunt is married to a Hoffenpurpenburger, so I have second cousins who are called Hoffenpurpenburger-Wilson. But that's not as cool as just a straight Hoffenpurpenburger like you.-Ouch! Why did you do that?
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Because you're not wearing purple or orange - it's traditional on Hoffenpurpenburger Day to kick people, on the behind, who aren't wearing traditional purple or orange. Why aren't you wearing any purple or orange?-It hadn't occurred to me.
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You can't kick me; I'm wearing both purple and orange.-That's okay, I don't traditionally kick people.
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How can you be a Hoffenpurpenburger and not wear any traditional purple or orange?-I don't know.
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Do you wear anything traditional?-This bracelet.
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Neat - what does it mean?-Our parents give it to us when we're seven, and we wear it on just the one day a year.
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Hoffenpurpenburger Day?-Well yes.
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Do the strands mean anything?-Each parent chooses a strand each, and the jeweler weaves them, but they don't actually mean anything.
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But they must mean something to make your parents choose them, like Eternal Love or the Cycle of Life?-I think my father picks bracelet strands the way he picks racehorses, and my mother the way she picks wallpaper.
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Is that purple in one of the strands?-Yes - it's on my mother's side.
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Oh, I'm sorry I kicked you - I didn't realize you were wearing purple.-It's okay, neither did I.
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Are you heading to have the traditional Hoffenpurpenburger Lunch now?-I've already eaten.
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Smoked Goat's Cheese and Purple Peppers, yeah?-Just beans on toast.
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You don't like smoked goat's cheese?-I don't know - I never actually had it.
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You're joking right? How can you be a Hoffenpurpenburger and not have had any smoked goat's cheese?-I don't know.
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You don't even eat purple peppers?-Not especially.
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Oh. Do you hate that we eat purple peppers?-No, I like them, I just don't eat them that often. I prefer red or yellow.
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Hoffenpurpenburger Day wouldn't be the same without Purple Peppers. When I was twenty-one I ate eleven purple peppers on a Hoffenpurpenburger Day.-I like them in a salad.
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I thought you ate them every Sunday with smoked goat's cheese?-Sometimes my family would have regular cream cheese, but mostly on Sunday we'd have yogurt and crackers.
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Even on Hoffenpurpenburger Day?-No, mostly then we have beans on toast. But not always.
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So you don't eat anything purple on Hoffenpurpenburger Day?-Beet root - sometimes. If we have stew.
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Why don't you have smoked goat's cheese?-I don't know - I'll ask my mother.
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Are you going to the big dance tonight?-I won't
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Are you going to tell me now that you don't do the Hoffen Hoppin Dance?-Actually I trained as a Hoffen Hoppin Dancer.
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Great, so you must love the Humongous Hoffen Hoppin Dance here in town?-Well..
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It's the seventh humongousest Hoffin Hoppin Dance in the world!-It is humongous.
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You should be in it.-I don't Hoffin Hoppin Dance anymore.
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Are you just going to get drunk and celebrate then?-Not exactly, we don't drink on Hoffenpurpenburger Day, we drink the next day.
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Why?-On Hoffenpurpenburger Day we remember the Hoffenpurpenburgers who are no longer with us, and alcholol kinda messes with the process.
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But you get drunk the day after?-Oh yeah, we're not against alcohol, it's just that Hoffenpurpenburger Day is a Day of Abstention.
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But you won't be able to get any purple beer the day after Hoffenpurpenburger Day. More
Irish conversations